Workplace bullying is extremely common. In fact, one in three workers will experience workplace bullying in their lifetime. Bullying in the workplace creates a toxic environment that damages individuals both personally and professionally. Mental health writer and editor Crystal Raypole describes it as harmful and targeted behavior, forming a pattern typically directed at one or a few individuals. She says the behavior is often “mean, insulting, mocking,” or even “scary.”
Reflecting on the workplace experiences of her clients, Lottena Wolters, LPC and founder of The F.L. Wolters Group says, "it would be more unusual for a client to have a healthy work environment."
One former client of The F.L. Wolters Group, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, experienced workplace bullying. Katherine, a nonprofit professional, was initially excited about a new job but soon found herself trapped in a cycle of doubt and mistreatment.
“I remember a meeting soon after I started,” she says. “I made some suggestions, based upon my expertise on the topic we were discussing, and a team supervisor rolled her eyes and rudely dismissed my ideas.” What began as smaller incidents like this escalated quickly, subjecting her to undeserved reprimands and blame for things she hadn't done. “They gaslit me, sabotaged my work, put me in the middle of disagreements between senior-level staff, and told me I was the problem when I said we all needed to sit down together and get on the same page,” she recalled.
At one point, her boss humiliated her in front of her colleagues, calling her unprofessional and lacking in emotional intelligence for crying as a result of the harsh treatment. Sadly, her story is far from unique.
Recognizing Workplace Bullying: Typical Characteristics
Dr. Christina Wilson, a conflict resolution expert, outlines typical examples of workplace bullying ranging from offensive language, demeaning remarks, and nonverbal gestures, to various forms of employment discrimination, like sexual harassment and other “isms” based on age, race or other personal characteristics. Workers’ psychological safety is also threatened if they face reprisals for reporting the bullying to supervisors and Human Resources. These actions can create a hostile work environment with severe consequences for the victims, especially those who have experienced trauma and may be triggered by such aggressive behavior.
Responding to Bullying: A Personal Struggle
This was the case for Katherine, who says she was accused of “lying about using my paid leave for several weekly doctor’s appointments, and shamed for it.” The company asked her to provide a doctor’s note for every appointment, but she pointed out that this wasn’t a company policy and was not required of all employees.
Katherine submitted a request for accommodations to try to protect herself, a right granted to her by the Americans with Disability Act (ADA). But she says, “they were totally hostile towards me after I'd made completely reasonable requests. I was insulted and treated as insubordinate for doing this. It was discrimination, pure and simple.”
At that point Katherine decided she’d had enough. She made the tough decision to leave her toxic job behind, and she successfully argued for a severance package based upon the way she was treated.
Taking Action: Steps to Stop Workplace Bullying
If faced with a workplace bully or bullies, psychotherapist Joyce Marter, LCPC suggests these practical steps to ensure your well-being and address the issue:
Create physical distance for your own safety.
Stay calm and avoid immediate reactions.
Maintain eye contact and stand tall.
Speak honestly but diplomatically.
Document any incidents in case you decide to file a report later.
Report the bullying to your boss, their boss, Human Resources and/or a trusted mentor if you feel comfortable doing so.
Seeking Recovery and Practicing Self-care: a Path to Healing
Katherine’s journey highlights the importance of seeking support and reporting workplace bullying. Though she left her job, the emotional toll lingered, something she is still recovering from in counseling to support her recovery from the abuse. A couple of years after she left this job, she still experienced post-traumatic stress symptoms, including in a new job with a supportive boss, but she believes that talking about her experience helped in the healing process.
In the aftermath of workplace bullying, individuals can take steps to care for themselves:
Seek therapy or counseling.
Foster balance and emotional regulation skills through mindfulness practices such as deep breathing, yoga and meditation.
Build a support system with like-minded colleagues and a trusted mentor.
Advocate for a healthier work environment, in which an employer provides help when your workload is overwhelming and promotes a culture of support for taking time off when needed.
Light at the End of the Tunnel: Success Stories
Despite the challenges, success stories exist. Drs. Ruth & Gary Namie, founders of the Workplace Bullying Institute, have documented cases where individuals successfully navigated workplace bullying by leaving toxic environments, starting a business or going back to school, pursuing legal remedies and accessing mental health support.
Lottena Wolters, LPC, says that many of her clients have worked on their assertiveness skills and successfully advocated for themselves, securing more flexible or reduced hours, a place to breastfeed, or a lighter workload, “recognizing that…they have a right to work in an environment that feels healthy to them.”
Finding an employer whose leadership creates a culture of valuing team members’ well-being is possible. Lottena Wolters says of starting The F.L. Wolters Group: "I wanted to have a D.C. based small group practice of independent healers, helpers, students and interns. We aim to be an inclusive and supportive environment where clients and team members are nurtured and well cared for.” A recent survey of our clinicians and administrators found that they viewed our workplace as one based upon compassion and understanding (see our team pictured to the left).
Recognizing, addressing and overcoming workplace bullying requires a multifaceted approach. By following the outlined steps and seeking support, individuals can foster resilience and contribute to a healthier work environment for themselves and others.
For further insights into handling and recovering from workplace bullying, explore the links within this article.
Have you experienced workplace bullying? Feel free to share your stories in the comments.
Comments